The catalyst
These wise words, “just be”, were uttered to me a decade ago from the lips of the most inspiring, influential director I have ever worked with. In January 2007, I was workshopping a scene with Laurence Connor at ABC studios in Ultimo, NSW. It was a challenging scene. He wanted to evoke a particular set of emotions in me and in my guarded insecurity as a young performer I wasn’t stepping up to the challenge. I could see he was frustrated. He then paused the scene and said two words to me. Two words that have remained with me forever. I carry these words with me through every performance.
Thanks to his belief in me, I have learned to completely surrender to every moment, particularly during a performance. When so often the tendency is to act/sing/dance outwardly towards an audience, Laurence taught me to focus the audience’s energy in on my inner being. Draw them in as if there was a tiny frame zoomed in on my every heartbeat, every breath, every emotion. He taught me authenticity, surrender, and commitment to my art; he taught me to ‘just be’.

The resolutions
When I was thinking of my twelve commandments, essentially the resolutions, that I would aim to achieve every month I thought of Laurence’s two words first. Hence, “Just Be” is my mantra for January and will set the tone for my year. I refined my list of resolutions and wrote them down a month-to-a-page layout in my Kikki.K diary.

I am going to give myself a gold star each time I adhere to each resolution and I am going to write down an example of how I fulfilled that resolution next to each star. I hope to look back in December and feel accomplished, though I know it will become challenging throughout the year. So here’s my resolution overview inspired once again by Gretchen Rubin:
January: Just be
February: Identify the problem
March: Get it done!
April: Inspire and be inspired
May: Create an atmosphere of growth
June: Love heals
July: Imagine
August: Own my decisions
September: Persevere
October: Connect
November: Celebrate milestones
December: Boot camp perfect
These are my umbrella resolutions and within each category I have some bullet point ideas in my diary to guide me (e.g. reflect on joy, write creatively, breathe). So why bother? I’m blogging about this in order to stay accountable. If it’s on record then I can visualise it and I am responsible for seeing it through. It is not just another fleeting idea in my head that I file away that disappears within the labyrinth of my mind.
So wish me luck as I spend this month ‘being’. I wish you luck articulating your goals for this year and I hope by now, 11 days into it, you are off to a good start. If you already feel yourself slipping into old uninspiring habits, write it down/capture it. Keep it real.

#resolutions #refined #letsdothis